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Dreading Those Pearly Gates

Articles: Dreading Those Pearly Gates

Here’s a worst case scenario: You’ve just passed on to your greater glory and are now standing face to face with St Peter. He smiles at you magnificently and starts reading your chart. “Looks pretty good…no murders, no major thefts,” (thank God, he’s a liberal!) “nice to your parents, gave a little to charity, generally tried to live like a mensch….BUT WAIT! What’s this? Forty-three million aphids killed, tens of thousands of snails crushed, mountains of weeds pulled! Report to the descending elevator to my left, immediately!”

The angels weep. How could you do it? You seemed like such a nice person. Your plea that in recent years you drastically reduced the number of “kills,” that you were doing it for the sake of art, or to satisfy your clients, or that you sought out the latest biological controls—all count for naught. The elevator car plunges.

How Green Are Gardeners’ Thumbs?
Not very. Bloody might be a more accurate description. In the quest to achieve our vision of paradise, we are ruthless. No creature is too large or too small to escape our murderous rages, from soil microorganisms to large and highly evolved mammals. Yet, the situation is even more sinister, since ...


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